What if he never has a meaningful friendship? The question rolled my heart thin as the reality of my son’s disability took root. To me, the mark of a good life was one full of rich, deep, meaningful relationships. My heart ached for what might never be for my red-headed, curly-topped son.
It’s not just the big questions, though, that are woven into the fabric of motherhood. It’s also the simple, everyday questions. Are they eating enough healthy food? Am I attuned to their emotional needs? Am I giving them enough of my time? Am I modeling a meaningful faith for them?
These questions are good, even necessary, to ask. If not, our parenting may bend and flex to circumstances rather than being anchored in truth and faith. But sometimes those questions twist our good intentions to anxiety-producing what-ifs. Some nights I toss and turn these questions, feeling the answer blanket my heart: my shortcomings could be my kids’ undoing. I let them eat too much junk food. I didn’t really listen to my son today when he was trying to tell me how he felt. I yelled too much to break up the maddening sibling squabbles. I brushed off my daughter’s request to snuggle because of looming deadlines. Have I asked my kiddos how I can pray for them? What happens if I don’t start doing better, doing more as their mom?
Read the rest around The Glorious Table today. There’s a seat just for you.