A Letter to Reed’s Kindergarten Teacher

In Personal by Allison Byxbe

I was okay. Really, I was. Until I looked across the table at you and saw tears brimming in your eyes.

You’re a mom so you know that more than anything else we want for our kids, we want them to be loved. And while our love for them as mamas is big and fierce and strong, so very strong, we want to know that others appreciate, include, love our kids. It’s what keeps me up at night. Wondering, praying, hoping, searching for those little glimmers of reassurance.

Your tears reassured me that silly, sweet, loving, six year old boy is loved beyond our own four walls. Because you know that when someone knows they are loved, they can be so much more than we dare hope. Loved people love. 

You have spurred me on in my own love for him. Because if I’m honest, raw to the bone honest, sometimes love doesn’t come easy. Tired, frustrated, confused, sad, overwhelmed all come easy. But easy is a lie that never delivers and love is a truth that bears hope and light. So thank you for being a love bearer in his story.

After that meeting last week, that meeting where we all agreed that what he needs is a smaller, special needs-focused classroom, I cried because his season in your class is ending. I cried because he has done so well with you in your class. I know good things will come from his new teacher, new friends, and new school. But this good thing, this good space you created for him, deserves grieving. Grief testifies to great love.

You have done, as Mother Theresa once said, so many small things for him yet each one with great love. Small things with great love. That’s what’s made all the difference for him, for us. I know he will miss you, your classroom, and his friends fiercely. And I can’t change that, not even sure I should. Because I want y’all imprinted on his heart. I think that will give him great courage and great confidence as he takes these next steps. 

I know you haven’t done this all alone — your assistant teacher, his therapists, the resource teacher, the administration — all of you have come around this little boy and given him a great gift — love. And for that I am deeply grateful. 

Sincerely,

A very thankful mama